Joy Fawcett on preparation, fighting for what you want and being seen

What this conversation is about

Joy Fawcett played nearly two decades for the U.S. Women’s National Team, won two World Cups and two Olympic gold medals, and is in the National Soccer Hall of Fame, all while raising three children. The world called her the original soccer mom. She is also a longtime friend of Glenn Llopis, and this Earning Conviction episode was recorded as Netflix prepared The 99’ers, a film about the 1999 World Cup team, with actress Isabelle Fuhrman playing Joy.

Asked what kept her working when she did not want to, Joy describes two stages: a perfectionist kid training alone until she got a move right, and then a teammate who got out of bed because she knew her teammates across the country were doing the same.

The only penalty kick she ever took in a game

In the 1999 World Cup final shootout, Joy took the second kick. She remembers jogging the long way from midfield hoping nobody could see her knees shaking. Then she reached the ball and everything went silent. It was the only penalty kick she ever took in a game, and it went in, because the team had practiced them at nearly every session for a year:

"...putting in the work created that calmness of habit. It was just habit." — Joy Fawcett · 00:17:06

Her deeper lesson is about what she could and could not influence. A game can go any way at any time; her fitness and her preparation were hers. That is the line at the top of this page. Glenn called it the essence of earning conviction: putting in the practice before the moment demands it, so that you are ready when your name is called.

All in or all out

Off the field, the team was fighting too. Joy remembers that in the early years they earned almost nothing and simply played for love of the game, until trips abroad opened their eyes to how differently the men’s teams were treated. Before the 1996 Olympics, the first to include women’s soccer, they decided together to hold out for fair pay and for childcare, knowing replacements were being lined up:

"We all agreed, okay, none of us are doing this. We're all in it together. We're all in or we're all out." — Joy Fawcett · 00:22:04

It worked, and from then on she could bring childcare on every trip. The same spirit carried into 1999, when the team pushed for big stadiums rather than small ones and spent its time off the field selling the game in communities. The first time the bus pulled into a full stadium, they could not believe the crowds were there for them.

Bringing the kids to the world stage

Joy had her first child while still playing, with no maternity policy, no guidelines and no one who knew how to help a returning mother train. She came back within weeks because she was afraid of being replaced, and at one tournament discovered she was not allowed to keep her baby in the team lodging until a volunteer took her family in. Her lesson for working parents is to build support deliberately, and to be clear about what you need:

"You can create your village and find them to help because it does take a village and don't be afraid to fight for what you want... So I said, I'm bringing them and let's make this work. Otherwise, I am not playing." — Joy Fawcett · 00:52:18

She said it to her coach before she was even pregnant, and he supported it. Teammates hauled her gear, built leprechaun traps with her children between sessions and, she thinks, played longer and lighter for the distraction. Glenn put it simply:

"you just did it a different way and maybe it wasn't the traditional way, but you did it the way that you were capable of doing it given the circumstances that you were living in." — Glenn Llopis · 00:59:17

Her pitch to employers today is direct:

"I wish more businesses would see that if they could just provide cheap daycare at work, they'd get the best workers, men and women both that would be there for long-term" — Joy Fawcett · 01:15:41

Choosing rooms where you can be yourself

Joy was shy and homesick as a teenager and almost skipped the open tryout that eventually led to the national team. She chose her college because it was far from home and because of the people:

"All the people there, the teammates, let you be you no matter who you were. I felt I could be myself there and I love that environment." — Joy Fawcett · 01:02:18

She reinvented herself on the field too, moving from forward to midfield to defender. When the team needed someone fast at right back, she volunteered:

"I would rather be on the field than off the field." — Joy Fawcett · 01:10:03

Having played every position in front of her, she could anticipate what attackers would do, which is how a goal scorer became one of the country’s great defenders.

Isabelle Fuhrman joined at the end. Her audition described Joy as very shy, the original soccer mom, a label that told her almost nothing. When she asked Joy what she wanted from the film, the answer stayed with her:

"I will never forget, she said, "I just really would like to be seen."" — Isabelle Fuhrman · 01:26:27

What Fuhrman took from Joy for her own generation, which plans everything, is simpler:

"the truth is you're never ready. You just do it." — Isabelle Fuhrman · 01:24:00