If No One Is Criticizing You, You Aren't Leading

If no one is criticizing you, you are probably not leading. Leadership is not a popularity contest. It is about doing what is in the best interest of the organization and the people you serve, and leaders are paid to make the difficult decisions that someone will always disagree with.

Plenty of leaders don't see it that way. They spend their energy trying to satisfy everyone's agenda instead of focusing on the goals of the organization. Some treat authority as a personal benefit to advance their own interests, rather than as a privilege and a responsibility to turn adverse circumstances into opportunities. The second path takes hard work and strategic focus. It also attracts critics.

Criticism Requires Mental Toughness

I learned this at Sunkist. I was a young executive traveling the country and building the business when the company hired a new chief marketing officer, a seasoned executive with about 15 years on me. I soon found out he was trying to undermine me because of my passion and my approach to business development. The company faced a real dilemma: it had just recruited him, and it also had a young executive driving the business. In the end, the new CMO was let go. I took no joy in that. What stayed with me was the lesson: my passion drew resistance precisely because it was moving things, and my job was to keep leading through it.

Much of what happens is outside your direct control. But if you can see what others don't and anticipate the unexpected, you can influence outcomes for those you serve. Effective leaders confront conflict head-on and then move on to the next opportunity.

When you become too personally invested, criticism gets harder to handle. You start making poor decisions in an attempt to validate your leadership to yourself and others, and your authority weakens.

As you find success, some people will try to slow you down. The leeches and loafers who envy your momentum may push back hardest. That is often a sign you are on the right path. Leading change means asking people to change, and plenty of people, especially those who have grown complacent, don't want to.

Four disciplines turn criticism into something useful.

1. Don't Play the Victim

When criticism strikes, never take on a "woe is me" attitude. People struggle to respect a leader who plays the victim. It signals a lack of composure and mental fortitude, and it plants doubt about whether you can handle the pressure and uncertainty of the role. Instead, own the criticism. Use it as a platform for growth and a source of opportunities you hadn't seen before.

2. Don't React Impulsively

Step back and assess the situation. Too many leaders get defensive, focus on protecting their reputation and overreact. Practice patience. Criticism comes and goes. How well you lead through it is what earns the respect of your peers, because pressure shows people who you really are. In a digital workplace, that also means resisting the urge to fire back a reply in the moment. Give yourself time to think before you respond.

3. Don't Take It Personally

My mentors advised me not to care so much about what people say. That never meant I shouldn't work hard or perform at my highest level. It meant I shouldn't take criticism personally. When you do, it becomes much harder to stay objective about what the business and your people actually need.

Handling criticism is an unwritten part of every leader's job description. If you lead to win and to advance others, expect it. Leaders who take it personally tend to find their tenure short-lived.

4. Turn Criticism Into Opportunity

Criticism is another way of saying learning moment. You will never lead perfectly, so be open-minded enough to course correct along the way. Leadership requires you to pivot, renew and reinvent yourself. Past success does not exempt you from growth.

Leaders and organizations at the top attract the most criticism. It is easy to grow complacent there, and hard to endure critics who don't believe you earned your place. Staying focused on the next level of evolution in your business is the best way to quiet them. Those are among the traps of staying on top.

Turn Up the Volume

One of the most important qualities of leadership is being a good listener, and that applies even more when you are the one being criticized. Don't shut it down. Turn up the volume and listen to what is actually being said. Too many leaders turn criticism back on the person who spoke up, instead of treating it as a chance to learn.

The next time a critique stings, sort it before you answer it. Ask whether there is truth in it, even if you dislike how it was delivered. Ask whether the criticism is really about your decision or about the change the decision requires. Ask what you would tell someone on your team who received the same words. Then decide what you will do differently, and let people see you do it.

Listening to criticism is a responsibility that never appears in the job description, but handled constructively, it makes you a more effective and trustworthy leader. It is also how you lead with conviction.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.