The Door Stays Open When You Know What You Bring Back Through It

In his final On the Clock column for The Wall Street Journal, Callum Borchers takes on a fear that keeps many talented people frozen in place. In How to Leave Your Career While Keeping the Door Open to a Comeback, he argues that workers are holding tight to their jobs not only because options have narrowed, but because they have lost confidence that they could return to the rung they left. He shares stories of people who stepped away anyway, to travel, start a business or raise a family, and offers practical advice on keeping relationships warm.

The labor data shows how cautious workers remain. The quits rate, which tracks workers leaving their jobs voluntarily, was little changed at 2.1% in September, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Quits ticked up to 3.4 million, yet most people are still choosing the seat they have over the uncertainty of a new one.

The Fear Is About the Chair

Borchers is right that the fear is real, and his advice is sound. But one story in his column points to something deeper. A former McKinsey consultant who left to open a pickleball club once felt lucky to have landed at the firm. Over time he came to see his value differently. As Borchers puts it, "Maybe McKinsey was lucky to have him."

That shift is the whole story. Most people who are afraid to leave are not afraid of the work they would do next. They are afraid of losing the chair. When your confidence comes from the title, the company name or the rung on the ladder, it is borrowed. It lasts only as long as you keep the seat. And the longer you sit in it, the harder it becomes to picture yourself anywhere else.

Earned confidence works differently. It comes from knowing what you naturally solve for: the kinds of problems you are drawn to and the value you create when you solve them. That knowledge travels. It goes with you to a sabbatical, a startup or a season at home with your kids, and it comes back with you, often stronger, because you used it somewhere new. I explored this in The Only Constant in a Multichapter Career Is You.

Staying Has a Cost Too

One of Borchers's interviewees makes a point that leaders should hear as clearly as professionals do. We fear the irreversibility of leaving, but we rarely count the cost of staying. People who stay only because they are afraid to go tend to shrink their ambitions to fit the role. They stop offering ideas that might put the chair at risk. Over time, they edit themselves into someone safe.

Not every move should be a leap. For many people, staying is the right choice, and stability lets them build skills and care for their families. A clear career path, predictable pay and a steady role are real assets. The question is whether you are staying with conviction or out of fear. Conviction, the earned capacity to act on what you believe before the outcome is certain, is what lets you make either choice well.

There is a lesson here for leaders as well. If your best people believe the door will close the moment they step out, they will never tell you what they really want. Organizations that welcome returning talent, and that know their people well enough to understand what pulls them, keep relationships that pay off for years. Long careers will include more than one exit, a theme I took up in A 60-Year Career Needs a Self That Outlasts Every Job.

Questions to Ask Before You Decide

Write down what you would still be good at if your title disappeared tomorrow. If the list is short, start there before you make any move.

Ask yourself which regret you could live with: leaving a great role, or never pursuing the opportunity in front of you.

Keep your relationships alive for their own sake, not as insurance. People remember who stayed in touch when there was nothing to gain.

If you are thinking about a break, decide in advance how you will stay close to your field. Read, mentor, take the call. Distance from the work is not the same as distance from who you are.

And if you lead a team, tell your people plainly that leaving well will not close the door. You will learn more about what they want, and some of your best people will come back.

Borchers is stepping out of a role that may come along once in a career, and he is doing it with clear eyes. Most of us will face a version of that choice. The door stays open far more often for people who know what they bring back through it.

Borrowed confidence depends on the chair you sit in. Earned conviction goes with you wherever you choose to go next.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.