Patience Is a Leadership Discipline

Every leader today feels the pressure to deliver results, build effective teams and create a workplace where people can perform. At the same time, employees are exhausted by uncertainty. Roles are being redesigned around AI. Restructuring has become routine. Market disruptions keep changing the plan. People are being asked to do more with less, often without knowing what their future holds.

That pressure tests everyone's patience, including the leader's. And it is the leader's patience that sets the tone for everyone else.

We have all heard that patience is a virtue. For leaders, it is more than a virtue. It is a discipline, and like any discipline, it has to be practiced.

The Boss Who Had No Time

Early in my career, I had a supervisor who lacked patience. He never had enough time to hear his employees' concerns. He was so focused on results that he showed little empathy. When times were tough, he raised his voice instead of stepping back to listen and solve the problem. He expected everyone to deliver their best at all times and had little tolerance for failure.

He was a decent man with good intentions. But his demeanor made it impossible for anyone to approach him when they needed help. His one-way style only worked for people confident enough to solve every problem on their own. Many people on the team left, and he was eventually pushed into early retirement.

I have never forgotten that lesson. Leaders who can't practice patience will find their careers short-lived. Employees see patience as a sign that their leader is compassionate, open-minded and able to handle any circumstance.

Here are five ways to practice it.

1. See Through the Lens of Others

It is easy to judge how others handle a situation. A leader must step back from personal opinion and see the moment through the other person's eyes. People running on empty are prone to lose their cool. Be strong enough to absorb the pressure and wise enough to help resolve it. Help your people connect the dots toward a solution, and build their confidence along the way.

2. Evaluate Tension Points Without Bias

Patience requires you to examine tension points carefully and without choosing sides. How someone handles pressure can reveal patterns that help you understand the root of a problem.

I once grew frustrated with an employee who couldn't see what I was seeing for a particular client. My patience was being tested. But when I slowed down, I began to understand the unique way she approached problems and the strategic thinking behind her intentions. That uncomfortable moment helped me appreciate her skills more than ever. She went on to co-lead a new project that used talents I had never seen before, and it positioned her to accelerate her career. Impatience would have hidden all of that from me.

3. Listen and Ask Questions With a Positive Attitude

Patience demands that you take a breath, let go of your own urgency and ask questions. Don't rush the process.

Attitude matters as much as listening. I once returned to the office after four hours stuck in traffic, wanting nothing more than to be alone and gather myself. Waiting for me were clients from out of town who had stopped by unannounced. I had a quick choice to make: show them the frustration of my day, or smile and thank them for the visit. I chose the second. I only had the energy for about an hour, but they appreciated the attention, and the relationship moved to a new level that day.

4. Seek Perspective From Someone You Trust

Don't pretend to have every answer, and don't use your authority to push a problem away just to have it return later. When you feel your patience running thin, go to a mentor or trusted advisor who can give you perspective. Treat each of these moments as a chance to learn more about yourself and others.

5. Consider That It Might Be You

We grow impatient with people who don't listen, don't follow direction or always have an excuse. The next time that happens, do your due diligence and be prepared to discover that you are part of the problem. Patience can turn a standoff into shared problem solving. If the fault is yours, own it and tell your team. That is how you earn respect that no title can give you.

Practice It This Week

• Pause before responding to the next message that frustrates you.
• Ask one more question than you normally would before offering a solution.
• Identify one tension point on your team before it surfaces, and address it early.
• Write down what tested you, and what it taught you about yourself.

The next time your patience is tested, use it to examine your purpose and your maturity as a leader. Patience is a core part of emotional intelligence as a performance strategy. The more you practice it, the more composed, resourceful and trusted you become.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.