Most Workplace Politics Start as a Misunderstanding

I have watched the same story play out in organizations of every size.

A team runs into a problem. People have different views on how to solve it. Someone feels unheard. Someone else feels judged. Conversations start happening in hallways instead of meetings. People begin complaining to the colleagues they trust rather than speaking to the person they disagree with.

Months later, the whole thing has become a political nightmare. And when everyone finally steps back to ask what happened, they discover something painful.

They all wanted the same thing. No one knew how to tell the others.

Politics Is Usually Misunderstanding That Was Left Alone

We tend to assume workplace politics comes from ambition, ego or bad intent. Sometimes it does. But in my experience, most of it begins as a misunderstanding that no one had the skill or the courage to address early.

The research suggests how common this avoidance has become. In a survey of 1,000 US employees by MyPerfectResume, 74% said they adjust how they communicate to avoid conflict at work. That is three out of four people managing what they say rather than saying what they mean.

When that many people are editing themselves, misunderstandings don't get resolved. They get stored. And stored misunderstandings eventually become politics.

Three Things We Were Never Taught

I believe this happens because of three gaps that almost no school, training program or MBA addresses.

First, we were never taught to diagnose these situations. We see the symptoms, like tension, silence or a sudden coolness from a colleague, but we don't know how to read what is underneath them. We guess. And we usually guess that the other person is the problem.

Second, we were never taught how to fix them. Even when we sense what is wrong, the discomfort of addressing it feels bigger than the cost of letting it go. So we let it go. Then it comes back larger.

Third, we were never taught how to communicate them. We don't have the language to say, "I think we want the same outcome and are talking past each other." So instead we say nothing, or we say it to the wrong person.

When you combine these three gaps, you get an organization full of capable people who are quietly misreading each other. None of them is acting in bad faith. Each of them is simply filling the silence with their own story about what the others must be thinking.

Why People Judge Instead

There is a reason people complain instead of solving. Judging someone is easier than understanding them. It requires no skill and carries no risk.

I don't believe most people judge out of malice. They judge because they don't know how to fix what is in front of them. Complaining feels like action. It gives the frustration somewhere to go. But it lets the misunderstanding fester until it becomes something no one can easily undo.

I have also seen what happens when people are afraid to speak the truth early. Situations that could have been resolved in one honest conversation turn into departures, broken trust and teams that never fully recover. As I've written before, the conflict you avoid becomes your culture.

Empathy Has to Go Both Ways

If you are leading through this kind of tension, start by extending the empathy you wish others would extend to you. The people pushing back on you are often dealing with the same uncertainty you are. They just express it differently.

Then do the harder work of making that empathy mutual. Here is where I would begin.

Name the shared goal first. Before discussing any disagreement, say out loud what you believe you both want. You will be surprised how often that alone lowers the temperature.

Ask what they think is really happening. Their version of events will tell you more than your assumptions ever will.

Over-communicate, even imperfectly. The words don't have to come out right. People don't need you to be right or wrong. They need to feel understood.

Go directly to the source. If you are about to vent to a colleague about someone, have the conversation with that person instead.

Address it while it is small. A misunderstanding addressed this week is a conversation. Left for months, it becomes a crisis.

Listen for the Same Thing

The most useful question I know in a tense situation is simple: do we actually want the same thing? Most of the time, the answer is yes.

Once people see that, the politics loses its power. What remains is a practical problem that capable people can solve together. That is why listening is the job no one writes down, and why it may be the most important one you have.

Politics thrives on misunderstanding. Clarity starves it.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.