What to Do When You Can't Trust Your Boss

Many people enjoy their work, like their colleagues and believe in their organization, yet don't trust the person they report to. It's one of the most draining situations in professional life, and it's more common than most leaders would like to admit.

During uncertain times, many leaders go into survival mode. Restructuring, AI-driven changes to roles and constant pressure on results push them to focus on protecting their own position. In the process, they lose their leadership identity and the trust of the people they stopped paying attention to. Employees who once felt their leader had their back now see a conditional leader, and they stop being transparent.

So how do you work with a leader you can't trust? Start with this: you have more power than you think. Leaders can't succeed alone. Their success depends on followership that is earned over time. Without the trust of their employees, their influence is short-term and artificial at best. Here are seven steps to take.

1. Hold Your Leader Accountable

You are accountable for supporting your leader's goals. Your leader is equally accountable for what you can expect from them. If they won't commit to a clear set of expectations, that tells you something important.

Manage your leader as much as they manage you. Nothing prevents you from doing it. You are ultimately responsible for your own career, so address the relationship before it spirals.

2. Work More Closely with Them

It may seem counterintuitive, but getting closer lets you see how your leader treats others, whom they gravitate toward and what they value. That can reveal the common ground you need to build trust.

It also tests your assumptions. Sometimes a lack of trust rests on perception rather than reality. You may even discover that something about how you work makes it hard for your leader to trust you.

3. Keep a Record

Writing things down takes time, but it lets you see patterns: the behaviors, cues and situations that trigger trust issues. Leaders are often unaware of what causes others to distrust them.

Connecting the dots for your leader, respectfully and with specifics, may be all they need to course correct. If they respond well, you may have won them over.

4. Check Whether Others Feel the Same

I'm not suggesting you go to your leader's boss. I'm suggesting honesty with yourself. If no one else shares your concern, the issue may be the relationship, or your own insecurities. A leader won't change their approach for one person.

If others feel the same, your gut is probably right. Either way, you'll know where the real problem lies.

5. Confront the Situation

You can coexist with a leader you don't fully trust, as long as they aren't actively undermining you. But if it's clear they have no real plans for you, it's time for a direct conversation.

Compare notes. Is your understanding of the team's direction the same as theirs? If not, find out why. Ask where you fit in their short and long-term plans. Complaining solves nothing. Action reclaims momentum.

6. Focus on Your Own Reputation

We spend too much energy trying to appease difficult leaders. Put that energy into building your own reputation instead.

Early in my career, I reported to a leader who seemed threatened by me and never tried to build a relationship. He was about twenty years my senior and new to the company, while I had spent five years building a track record there. Instead of dwelling on his issues with me, I focused on the work and delivered results. My influence grew, and his weakened as he spent his time on the wrong things. Your body of work will speak louder than any conflict.

7. Know When to Leave

If you've tried everything else and nothing has changed, there's no sense spending more time on something that's holding you back. Before you decide, ask yourself honestly:

• Is my leader knowingly setting me up to fail?
• Do they position me negatively with colleagues, and do they do this to others too?
• Do they talk about me behind my back?
• Does their presence in the room affect my ability to perform?
• Is this relationship damaging my own reputation?

If the answers are yes, don't wait. Activate yourself. Leaving is not failure when staying costs you your growth.

Look for the Root Cause

Many times, a lack of trust comes down to envy, on one side or the other. You may threaten your leader's influence without realizing it. A leader who sees your strength only as a barrier to their own advancement is difficult to trust. The best leaders see that same strength as an opportunity for the whole team, and those are the leaders worth following. As I've written before, respect doesn't come with the title. It has to be earned, in both directions.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.