When Your Strengths Start Wearing on Your Team

Drive becomes pressure. Vision becomes vagueness. Confidence becomes self-promotion. Left unchecked, the same traits that make someone an effective leader begin to wear on the people around them, and the workplace slowly becomes dysfunctional.

A Fortune 400 leader I spoke with put it plainly. This executive told me his intensity and sense of urgency could get annoying, and that he needed to be more mindful of what they were doing to morale, to his teams and to the culture. That kind of honesty is rare. Leaders usually have good intentions, but over time they develop tunnel vision. They lose sight of the consequences they are creating, and few people will ever confront them about it.

Read the eight frustrations below with that executive in mind. Several of them begin as strengths: confidence that tips into self-focus, high standards that tip into control, big-picture thinking that leaves people guessing, urgency that tips into impatience. These are the things that bother employees most about their leaders.

1. Being Unknowingly Selfish

Leaders rarely intend to be selfish, but people are sensitive about their security, and they notice. Too many leaders talk about their own credentials and experiences and compare themselves to others. Put that energy into strengthening the credentials and credibility of your people. Put them in situations where they can learn and be seen. The job is to make them visible, not yourself.

I watched this happen while facilitating a turnaround strategy session with about eight senior executives and department leaders. One executive began speaking up, and then kept speaking up, until it disrupted the room. It was as if he was desperate to be heard, and he stopped paying attention to what we were all trying to solve for. Halfway through, the others had stopped offering ideas, and the trust in the room was gone. Afterward he told me, "I was just trying to share my perspectives." His eagerness to contribute was a strength. That day, it cost the team its voice.

2. Micromanaging

Micromanagement can help establish standards at the start of a relationship. When it becomes the norm, it tells people you don't trust them, and often that you don't trust yourself. High-potential people want leaders who test their ideas, not leaders who constrain them. When people feel forced to become what their boss wants instead of more of who they are, the result is a workplace identity crisis.

3. Not Explaining the Vision

Big-picture leaders often assume everyone understands where they fit. They don't. It is better to over-communicate than to assume people know what you are thinking. Be specific about how each person contributes. Give them time to buy into the vision organically, especially when the plan keeps shifting with the market.

4. Ignoring Problems

When leaders ignore problems or shift blame, teams can't learn and move on. Avoidance makes the situation worse and exposes immaturity. People watch what their leaders do and don't do more closely than leaders realize, and the conflict you avoid becomes your culture.

5. Losing Patience Under Pressure

The business climate is complicated and full of unknowns. Leaders who lose their cool or lack the mental toughness to stay focused create a ripple of uncertainty that multiplies through the organization. People want leaders who can see the light at the end of a difficult situation and course correct along the way.

6. Not Listening to Themselves or Others

It is easy to tell people what to do. It is harder to follow your own guidance. Leaders introduce new values and practices, and they are often the first to ignore them. Listen to your own words and keep your promises. Then listen just as closely to what your people need, and deliver on it.

7. Lacking Courage

People are frustrated by leaders who get caught up in politics at the expense of people and clients. Courage is a critical success factor. When your team doesn't see it, especially in obvious moments, it becomes hard to follow you. Take calculated risks and stop playing it safe.

8. Lacking Presence and Likeability

People want to be proud to introduce their leader to clients and partners. You don't need to know everything about the business, but you do need the presence to elevate a conversation, build a relationship and turn a potential problem into an opportunity.

Ask Which Strength Your Team Is Paying For

The Fortune 400 executive did not wait for someone to confront him. He named his own intensity and asked what it was costing. That is the exercise. Pick the strength you are proudest of and ask how your team experiences it on a hard day. Think about when someone last gave you honest feedback on your style, and what you did with it. Check whether your people can explain how their work connects to the vision, and whether you are living the values you asked everyone else to adopt.

Some leaders are still using a style that is decades out of date. When they learn that it is all right to give up some control, give high-potential people room to deliver and trust themselves and those they lead, they stop giving their people reasons to be bothered. If that sounds like you, it may be time to refresh your leadership style.

Want to explore these ideas further? Learn more about my work on leadership, identity and conviction at www.theglennllopis.com.